Comparison

Day 3, Self-Talk

Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding. 2 Corinthians 10:12 (ESV)

Her bulletin board is always so perfect, not like my disheveled last minute one. And her clothes are too cute. Makes me look like a thrift store shopper. I can’t imagine why she doesn’t have a man yet. She’s adorable. Oh, and her kids are always in line. I guess the administrators like her more; they gave her all the good ones this year and threw the rest of us to the wolves. It’s not fair when people like her get all the good things in life. If only I could have some of her things going for me, I’d enjoy life more.

Meanwhile, this “perfect” other teacher’s thoughts: Gosh I hope I’m doing this right. It’s my second year and I just don’t think I’m doing a good job. My decorations outside are cute, but I don’t have time for that every month. I’m grateful my mom passed down all the clothes she outgrew; there’s no way I could have managed a new wardrobe, house payment, and car payment. My students are also driving me crazy. My discipline is horrible. I wish I could take charge like the other teachers down my hall. I’m such a push-over. They make teaching look so easy and they have figured out how to leave on time without taking stacks home every night. I feel like I’m drowning.

              The comparison game is a terrible game to play, yet we’ve all done it. We look at the grass in someone else’s lawn and wish we had their knack for grass growing; not even realizing they fertilize their grass with manure. Why do we constantly compare ourselves with others and measure up short each time?

              For me, it comes down to discontentment. When I am unsatisfied with my appearance, job situation, available time, responsibilities, or place in life, I compare myself to others. It’s a slow shift, but soon my narrative changes too. If I could just lose twenty pounds, I’d be happier. Why can’t the weight come off like so and so. Old metabolism is so unfair. How do they always have time to fish and play on the water. I barely have time to keep my house halfway picked up and my kids alive. And how does she afford that new car? We make the same salary, and her husband isn’t exactly high up in his company. What am I doing wrong?

              The shift toward the negative grows until I’m completely miserable and dissatisfied with everything. When this happens, I check out of my current life and miss the daily blessings and good things I actually have. Comparison blinds me to God’s goodness.

              How do we beat the comparison trap? First, we begin with thankfulness. We look at the things God has done, is doing, and will continue doing in our lives. In the hard moments, we look for opportunities to choose praise and thankfulness and we make it a daily practice. And we spend time in God’s word. Paul told the New Testament followers that he had found the secret of contentment. His sole ambition was bringing glory to God, whether in life or in death. His identity rested in Christ and so did his purpose. So must ours.

Do the Heart Work

1.      When are you the most discontent and stuck in the comparison trap?

2.      What makes us wish we were like others?

3.      Are you content in your relationship with God? Or are you comparing yourself to others?

Digging Deeper

Read Philippians 4:4-13 (ESV)

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.  Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned, in whatever situation I am, to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Paul understood the assignment. Praise and thankfulness. Whether he had a lot or a little, whether free or in chains. His satisfaction came from Christ alone.

If You Get Spare Time 

              Are you in the comparison game? Do you wish away your moments without even realizing it? What would it take for you to be content with where God has you? Before you go to sleep tonight, find twenty things to thank God for. Make this a daily practice and see if this changes the comparison self-talk loop in your mind.