Anxious Thoughts

Day 2, Self-talk

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 (ESV)

Gosh, I hope Ellie’s mom isn’t made with me. I never have to discipline her but today she was too sassy. But should I have done it that way? Her mom will probably call the principal and what will I say then? I’m going to be questioned and backed into a corner and I’m not even sure if I’m right or not. Maybe I should just call them. No, it’s 11:00, that’s irresponsible. Maybe I can call her first thing or catch her at parent drop off. That’s what I’ll do. But what if she doesn’t want to speak to me. What if she decides to take her out of my class and put her in another school? She’s one of my top students. My scores will show the loss. What am I going to do?

This is anxiety. Replaying conversations. Rehearsing situations before they happen. Assuming the worst. Focusing on the negative. Creating non-existent realities. It’s crippling. Stifling. And can cause physical illness.

Anxious narratives often take shape without us ever realizing it. Worries about what-ifs turn into most-likely realities, and before long, it’s a done deal and the world is falling apart. Here’s the scary part about anxiety: If we replay possible scenarios long enough, we come to believe them as if it’s a truth that will occur. Once that happens, we look at the world through that set of lenses and wait for the inevitable, responding accordingly.

Let me give an example. Sarah sees two teachers from her hall whispering in the break room. When she walks in, they abruptly stop. She walks to the drink machine, convinced they are watching her and had been talking about her. On her way out, she pretends she saw nothing, acknowledges them with a wave and a smile, which they return, and heads back to her classroom. Every day for two weeks, she replays the situation, convinced they have something against her. So she decides to go ahead and shut them out before they get a chance to push her out.

Meetings are strictly professional because Sarah refuses to give them more gossip. She notices their concerned looks after her responses, but she is sure they are pretending to care. Afterall, she knows the truth. She saw them talking about her. Hallway encounters become awkward. Conferences with parents feel plastic. But Sarah knew it had to be done so she wouldn’t get her feelings crushed yet again.

One of the teachers stops by Sarah’s room unannounced. “Can we talk?”

Here it comes, Sarah thought.

The teacher shared her heart and asked Sarah if there was something going on that she wanted to talk about. She missed having Sarah as a friend and didn’t understand what the sudden shift was all about. The teacher asked if there was anything she could do to fix the relationship and even told Sarah that everyone on the hall was planning a surprise birthday party for her, but didn’t want to overstep if it wasn’t going to be received.

“So wait. A surprise party? Is that what all the whispering has been about?”

Her friend nodded and Sarah apologized for being so weird. She lied and said she had a lot of stuff going on personally.

Sarah’s anxiety created a reality that was completely untrue. She fed a lie, because of insecurity and anxious thoughts, and almost lost some real friendships. Anxiety is real and it doesn’t play fair or nice.

Do the Heart Work

1.      In what ways do you relate to these two examples of anxious self-talk?

2.      What does anxiety do to our relationships?

3.      How can anxiety impact your relationship with Jesus?

Digging Deeper

Read Acts 16:22-34 (NIV)

The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten with rods. After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. When he received these orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.

About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose. The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!”

 The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his household were baptized. The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole household.

              Because of his anxiety, the guard almost took his life unnecessarily. He assumed the prisoners escaped when the cells broke open, but they were all there. When we assume the worst, we often miss the blessing of the moment. God had bigger plans for the jailer. And he has bigger plans for us than living anxiously day and night.

If You Get Spare Time 

              Reflect on your days and nights? What escalates your anxiety? What helps it fall? Why does anxiety get such a hold sometimes? Have you asked God to help you battle the anxiety? Identify ways to recenter yourself when those anxious moments dominate your life and ask God to join you in the effort to fight.