Fear

Day 5, Self-Talk

I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4 (ESV)

When my oldest son, Carter, was three, he learned how to take care of our chickens. Every morning, he opened the door, waved the chickens away, and gathered the few eggs from the nest boxes. After many weeks of taking an adult with him, he began gathering the eggs by himself, then coming back out and feeding them a cup of food. He adored his chickens and they let him carry them around when he was fast enough to catch them.

              One summer morning, Carter went outside with his little egg bucket and headed down the steps. About a minute later he stormed through the door, threw his hands in the air, and said, “SNAAAAAKE!”

              Now, I can handle a lot of things, but I don’t do snakes. I don’t care how good for the environment or helpful they are, all snakes are moccasins to me. The few times I’ve run across a snake, my fight or flight response got stuck in the freeze position. All rational thinking left my brain and sheer panic took over.

              So here I was, the only adult on the place, and of all things, my child found a snake. Thankfully my husband wasn’t far away, so he hurried back and evicted the really long, egg-thieving, oak snake. He hauled it over a mile away and I knew there was no possible scenario where that same snake would be back in the chicken pen after its eviction. Logic told me it was safe to tend to the chickens, but fear told me I wasn’t safe and to run far, far away.

              Fear is big on my side of the family, especially among the women. We fret and worry about things that shouldn’t be a top priority. Much of my fear was learned and I didn’t want to pass that fear on to my kids. So, with all of my insides shaking so hard my skin trembled, I took Carter’s hand and we walked outside toward the chicken pen.

              The closer we got, the more he tried to pull away, but I told him he had to overcome his fear and not let that egg-stealing snake keep him from his chickens. The whole time I tried to convince him, I was also trying to convince myself. My hands shook so hard I could barely unhook the latch. We counted to three and both quickly stepped in. He grabbed the three eggs with lightning speed and zoomed out of that pen.

              It took a while for both of us to get to a calmer place, but thankfully we did. And we faced our fear.

              Sometimes we have to do it scared. Our fear lies to us and we have to talk ourselves into pushing through despite the fear. The hardest part about fear is the way it lines the thought patterns of our brain. Unrealistic fears can form a self-talk spiral that seems to never stop. And even when we know the fears are unfounded, because we keep feeding them, fear-filled self-talk keeps growing.  

              Fear impacts all of us. Sometimes it’s a fear like mine, but other times, it’s a fear stemming from severe trauma or abuse. That kind of fear has been there long enough to dig its talons deep into the heart and mind. In fact, we believe the voice of fear above any other voice—even God’s.

Do the Heart Work

1.      What are the fears that I have on repeat in my mind? Where did they come from?

2.      What is the danger of having fear as a constant voice in our head?

3.      Do you believe that God can one day release you from the spiraling prison of fear?  Why or why not?

Digging Deeper

Read Psalm 91:1-12  (NIV)

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

              God doesn’t promise we will never have troubles, he promises to protect us like a mama hen would wrap her feathers around her chicks, causing them to disappear into her protective wings. Doesn’t that picture sound amazing? With God, we have no reason to fear. He is bigger than every single one of them. And he can set you free if you release the control and trust him.

If You Get Spare Time 

              Make a scripture notebook to combat your fear cycle. Spend time daily looking up verses about fear and start writing them all in one place. When your brain begins to spiral, pull out your notebook and read the scriptures slowly and confidently. Ask God to help you believe the words and accept them as truth. Then begin praying about your fear and asking God to show you how to completely let it go and trust him with it, no matter how deep it runs.