The Instigator

Personalities, Day 5

Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. Galatians 6:26 (ESV)

              “Have you been down that hallway yet today? So distasteful.”

              “Did you hear about that kindergarten teacher? You didn’t hear this from me, but…”

              “I heard she’s been working late. And I also heard he’s been working late too, if you know what I mean.”

              Every school has one. These are the ones who fill the rumor mill, flood the teachers’ lounge, and twist everything into something juicy to share. Whether it’s true or not, these people run with a piece of gossip and spread it like the corona virus in a room filled with first graders. Sometimes what is shared has elements of truth but most of the time it’s been twisted to flex someone’s ego or promote a personal agenda.

              I remember being in my third-year teaching when another teacher came to me with gossip about myself that wasn’t true. At first it made me laugh. Then I thought about what could happen if people believed the rumor. I knew the truth, but no one else did. How far had the gossip traveled? How many would believe the truth over what they heard? Was it too late to conduct damage control? Why would someone share an untruth about me?

              The whole situation blew up in my face. I ended up being pitted against another person who believed the lie. She sent a scathing email that ripped me to shreds emotionally and trashed my name, reputation, and position as a teacher. I thought I knew this person. I trusted them. I worked with them. And yet, she didn’t come to me one time to find out the truth. She trusted the weavings of the rumor mill.

              This reminds me of the serpent in the Garden of Eden. He twisted God’s words and made the untruth seem like reality. He weaseled into Eve’s mind and placed doubts. Ultimately, the wiles of Satan disrupted perfection for all mankind. Instigators don’t care who they hurt or what consequences befall them. All is fair in love and war and the line between the two is blurred on a regular basis.

              In our classrooms, we see the same thing; students who stir the pot. They are always listening at the door, standing near the conversation, or talking to a person involved. Pot stirrers, or instigators, are warned against in scripture. We will look at a few of those verses below.

Do the Heart Work

1.      Are you an instigator?

2.      Who in your life is an instigator? What are their traits?

3.      What are the dangers of being with or being an instigator?

Digging Deeper

1.      Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32 (ESV)

2.      A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends. Proverbs 16:28 (ESV)

3.      If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. James 1:26 (ESV)

4.      “You shall not spread a false report. You shall not join hands with a wicked man to be a malicious witness. Exodus 23:1 (ESV)

We are all one mistake from stupid. This is a motto I live by. One weak moment can ruin a relationship. One word spoken in haste can kill a career. And one hasty decision could ruin another person’s life.

If You Get Spare Time

              Spend time thinking about the gossip you share. What’s the purpose in sharing? Think about the times others have caused harm through gossip or instigating. Then think about the times you may have done the same. Come up with solutions to keep you from being the instigator, but also how to confront others who are being the instigator.