The Naysayer

Personalities, Day 4

Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man. Proverbs 22:24 (ESV)

              When I was a newer teacher, I was selected (volun-told) to represent our grade level on a school advisory board. This group, comprised of one person from each grade level, met once a month with the administration and discussed ideas, brought concerns, and found common ground. My team had fairly passive members, so I was used to everyone kindly expressing their thoughts. As it turned out, the other teams didn’t work that way.

              During our first meeting, a veteran teacher crossed her arms and spoke, “I don’t know why we’re doing this. Nobody in administration listens and nothing ever changes anyway.” And the downhill spiral of comments from both sides began.

              I was disheartened after that first meeting. It seemed like a bickering match instead of a visionary team. When meeting two came around, I decided to speak up instead of watching the meeting crash and burn. Just like last time, the finger-pointing and frustration came from both sides, and the tone of the meeting took a huge nose-dive.

              But this time I interrupted, “I’d like to speak please.” Everyone paused their bickering. “I hear two big issues that need to be solved. Communication between administration and staff isn’t good and the staff doesn’t see follow through from administration when needs are communicated, which leads to feeling unheard. Does that cover it?”

              All parties lowered their hackles, leaned back in their chairs, and thought about the words. I looked around the room and spoke once more. “Let’s tackle one problem at a time. Which of these two is the biggest issue?” The whole tone of the meeting changed, and we began communicating in a much healthier manner. One of the administrators echoed my problem-solving tone and took control of the meeting. That meeting and all that followed changed and our board became a successful, problem-solving group. But what if it had been left to the naysayers?

              Naysayers aren’t bad people; they are just blinded by the negative. And one thing I learned fast: sitting in the teacher’s lounge is a quick way to join the ranks of other naysayers. Well-meaning conversations are naturally drawn to negative places. Whining is allowed. Venting is encouraged. And before too long, whole attitudes sour and a naysayer is born.

              One of my favorite conversations to change a mood looks something like this:

How are you today?

Oh, you know, can’t complain.

I hear you. No one wants to listen anyway.

              And in reality, unless it’s our significant other or best friend, complaining gets old. Fast.

              So how does a naysayer change their stripes? Start counting the positives instead of racking up and standing on the negatives. Strive for encouraging, serving, and caring for our students and fellow teachers. Realize that we are a naysayer and stay away from spaces that lend themselves to feeding that negativity. And seek Christ.

Do the Heart Work

1.      Who are the naysayers on your hall?

2.      What are the ways you can fall into becoming a naysayer?

3.      Was Jesus a naysayer? What are your thoughts?

Digging Deeper

              When I was a new teacher, there was a poster on my back wall. All it said was “May the words of my mouth.” When I felt my frustration rising or negativity taking over, I quoted the rest of the verse from Psalm 19:14 (NLT) May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. Some days I’d mentally recite it until my lips moved and my kids asked who I was talking to. But the reminder helped the negative direction go away quickly instead of lingering into naysaying territory. Here are a few easy to memorize verses that might help in the moment.

1.      Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5 (NIV)

2.      For nothing will be impossible with God. Luke 1:37 (ESV)

3.      But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31 (NIV) 

4.      I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13 (NIV)

If You Get Spare Time

              Challenge yourself this week to say five positive things for every one negative thing. Whether you are in your classroom, at home, or stuck inside your own head. Then note how this practice changes your whole view.