The Introvert

Personalities, Day 2

              A time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak. Ecclesiastes 3:7 (NIV)

I used to be quiet. Some of you who know me are laughing hysterically right now, but in all sincerity, I was the quiet kid in school. When I was on the ballfield or with my friends from church, I was silly and loud, but inside the classroom, I remained quiet unless the teacher called on me.

              It wasn’t because I disliked the class, my classmates, or the teacher; in fact, I often loved my teachers and classroom dynamics. But I thought deeply and processed a lot. I didn’t allow myself to share my opinions, if I had formed them, because of embarrassment and feeling intimidated. The only place I ever really shared my personal thoughts was on paper, alone, in my room, in a lockable journal.

              At the end of the day, I was usually exhausted and all I wanted to do was be alone, doing what I wanted to do. I was drawn to this time alone. As a kid I didn’t understand that I needed that time to recharge from having to interact socially all day, but as an adult, I have learned the importance of recharging alone.

Introverts have a shorter social battery life. For many of us, we would rather stand up in front of a room filled with strangers and give a lecture than have to mingle in a room full of people, even if we know them. We struggle with light, small talk and often jump to deep or bizarre questions making conversations feel awkward for the other person. Introverts appreciate the deeper things of life and explore these concepts naturally. Acting silly in front of others or opening ourselves up for being made fun of is avoided like the plague. Karaoke or dance parties sound exciting but the internal stress they create for introverts is overwhelming. Awkward handshakes and greetings are a regular struggle. Stuttering or being unable to gather our thoughts in a group is regular. Verbalizing our thoughts when put on the spot can be a difficult feat. But don’t confuse our quietness for not wanting to be involved.

Introverts long to be included in activities and we desperately need our more extroverted friends to push us out of our comfort zones. We really are grateful for opportunities to be in groups, we just struggle to make ourselves do it at times.

Even though I seem extroverted at times, I recharge alone. If my personal time doesn’t happen each week, I begin growing irritated, longing to isolate and hide. But I also need my people. Notice I said my people, not just people. Introverts have safe friends and family members who love, accept, and value them. When their social battery is running out, these are the people they run to for solace and comfort.

Many teachers, like me, are introverts. They love their students and might even adore their team, but when the invite for coffee or supper happens and the introvert says no, it doesn’t mean they don’t want to go, it means they need alone time to recharge more than they need to hang out.

 Do the Heart Work

1.      Who are the introverts on your team/hallway? How do you know?

2.      What are the good qualities of an introvert?

3.      Who are the kids in your class that display introverted tendencies? How can you help them bloom where they’re planted?

Digging Deeper

1.      Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Mark 1:35 (NIV)

2.      Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Luke 5:15-16 (NIV)

3.      One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. Luke 6:12 (NIV)

4.       When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Luke 14:13a (NIV)

Jesus was known for pulling away into solitary spaces after long days in ministry. Yes, he needed time away from the crowds, but he also needed time away with his Father. Introverts value and guard their alone time and their time to seek God at a deeper level. There’s great value in silence and quiet, so don’t forget to provide that for your introverts in the classroom.

If You Get Spare Time

              Teachers who have families often struggle to have any alone time. It’s in these quiet spaces where we are able to sit with our thoughts. If we stay busy, we will never be able to grow closer to Christ. Set aside 15-30 minutes today just to sit with God. Bring your Bible and journal and sit still. No phone. Just solitude.