Addictions

Day 4, When Our Homelife Interferes

Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. Proverbs 3:7 (ESV)

              Soto had a picture-perfect marriage from the outside. They attended church, both held professional jobs, and they had a healthy friend circle. Soto worked in the community school and was held in high esteem. Everyone adored her husband, Clarence, who was a businessman and acting church treasurer.

              Clarence’s schedule became more chaotic as he climbed the ladder. This meant more evenings away and many weekends of travel. Soto didn’t mind because she knew their finances would benefit in the end.

              At the grocery store, Soto ran her debit card to purchase a month’s worth of groceries. It was declined. Perplexed, she tried again. Both she and Clarence had been paid that week; there should have been plenty of money in the account. She used her credit card to avoid embarrassment, but as soon as she arrived at home, she asked Clarence if he was having the same issues. He assured her it was the bank’s problem and he would take care of it the next day.

              But he didn’t. And after several days he still had not rectified the situation. Soto became concerned. Maybe someone had stolen their identity or something crazy like that. Friday afternoon, Soto answered a knock at the front door and was greeted by a policeman looking for Clarence. He wouldn’t tell her what his interest in Clarence was other than he was okay. That night, the police officer returned and Clarence was arrested for embezzlement. He’d been stealing from the church weekly for five years to fuel and then cover his secret gambling addiction, thinking he’d recover it the next week. $150,000 was missing from the church, their personal bank account was depleted, their savings was empty, and their mortgage hadn’t been paid in six months.

              Soto ended up losing the house, her husband went to jail, and she was left homeless. After moving from friend to friend and occupying their couches, she decided to quit her stable teaching job and move back home with her mother. She hoped to start over but there was no guarantee of finding a job in the middle of the school year. Soto lost everything. Not because of her personal decisions or addictions, but because of her husband’s.

              Gambling. Alcohol. Drugs. Sex.

              And the thing about addiction is that we think we have it under control. What starts as an escape then forms a habit and eventually moves into something that we no longer control—it controls us. And when that happens, the addiction begins to impact everyone around. It can destroy whole families. And as a teacher, when someone in your home is addicted, it becomes so difficult separating homelife from work life.

Do the Heart Work

1.      Have you ever had an addiction that overtook your life? How did it happen?

2.      How has someone else’s addiction impacted you?

3.      How can you keep addiction struggles separate from work life?

Digging Deeper

Read the following scriptures and allow God to use them to speak to the addiction in your own life or the addiction in a friend/family member’s life.

1.      Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. Jame 1:12-15 (ESV)

2.      Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8 (ESV)

3.      For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. 1 John 2:16 (ESV)

4.      Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise. Proverbs 20:1 (ESV)

If You Get Spare Time

              Take some time alone today and examine your daily routines. Is there anything that dictates your free time? Is there anything that controls what you do? Something you can’t stop doing? Ask God to open your eyes. There may be an addiction in your life that needs to be tackled. Remember that self-control is a fruit of the spirit, not something you can muster apart from Jesus.