Abuse

Day 3, When Our Homelife Interferes

For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock. Psalm 27:5 (ESV)

One of my favorite books from childhood was Roald Dahl’s Matilda. The young child, Matilda was raised in a family who found value in lies, watching television, and earning money at whatever cost. They did not encourage deeper learning and did not like to listen to anything Matilda had to say.

              At a young age, Matilda realized she was quite different from her family, so much so that she taught herself to read at age four and visited the library all alone. She read massive literary works before beginning school and she even had to encourage her parents to enroll her because they were that oblivious to her existence.

              Matilda’s older brother was the favored child while Matilda was verbally and emotionally abused. When she grew frustrated or angry, she learned that she could move things with her mind and began playing tricks on her family, and eventually on her evil principal, The Trunchbull.

              Once Matilda started school, she was placed in Miss Honey’s class. Miss Honey was the niece of Trunchbull, but instead of mean and filled with hate, Miss Honey showered her students with love and care, especially Matilda. From day one she knew how smart Matilda was and did everything in her power to help her.

              Matilda also learned of Miss Honey’s secret: she was terribly mistreated by her aunt, just like Matilda’s parents were to her. The Trunchbull verbally berated Miss Honey in front of the children and forced her out of her rightful home that belonged to Miss Honey’s father. She paid her a meager salary and Miss Honey couldn’t afford furniture for her tiny cottage or adequate food. Miss Honey isn’t much different than many educators in the system today.

              There are many teachers in our schools who live with an abusive spouse, partner, friend, or family member. They are regularly made to feel less-than and constantly battle their internal dialogue. While these teachers, like Miss Hooney, are often some of the best, we may never know what their personal life is like when they get home. What’s amazing about these teachers is they see the students who are hurting. They understand why kids are hard to control. And somehow they can reach the hardest to reach children.

              Miss Honey did whatever she could to keep her abuse a secret; so do the ones who face abuse currently. Some teachers wear more make up to cover the bruises while others show love in big ways to help cover their deep rejection and hurt. Abuse leads to mask-wearing, covering the truth, and making excuses. Not only do we see some teachers in this scenario, but kids too.

              Abuse is real and we never know who is having to endure the regular turmoil. There is no rest from an abuser, just walking on eggshells and hoping not to provoke them. While many of us can’t imagine this, for some, this is their reality every single day.

Do the Heart Work

1.      Think about a time when you knew something was off with a coworker or student and you suspected abuse. What are the signs?

2.      Are you the one in an abusive situation? Do others know, or do you keep it hidden?

3.      How is the inner person impacted by abuse?

Digging Deeper

              It’s important to know that no matter what we are going through, God is always there for us to run to. He is our refuge, haven, protector, and savior. Do you run to him? Read these verses and hold on tightly to the words.

1.      You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah. Psalm 32:7 (ESV)

2.      For nothing will be impossible with God. Luke 1:37 (ESV)

3.      For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. Luke 8:17 (ESV)

4.      Come, my people, enter your chambers, and shut your doors behind you; hide yourselves for a little while until the fury has passed by. Isaiah 26:20 (ESV)

If You Get Spare Time

              Truly examine the dynamics of your current relationships. Are you in an abusive situation? Is there an abundance of unhealthy things in your life? Are you constantly covering up or making excuses for people in your personal life? Do you feel like their regular misbehavior falls on you to fix and take ownership for?  If you answered yes to any of these, this relationship needs reviewing. If you are in danger, get out and seek help. Don’t stay if harm could come to you or your kids. Your life matters too.