Jay

Day 4, The Hard Ones

What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent? Luke 11:11 (ESV)

              Pre-K was my first placement as a certified teacher. As a new teacher, I took what was available after my fall internship, and I landed with the four-year-olds. For the record, it was not my favorite. In all honesty, I’d rather chew my foot off than ever go back.

              By January, most pre-k students can write their name, identify shapes and colors, and many of them know their letters and numbers. I quickly learned the ones who could perform at higher levels and the ones who needed remediation. And then there was Jay.

              Jay was five but still didn’t know how to show me five fingers. I asked him to tell me his name, and he said, “Juh tay thee uth. My mama call me Jay.”

              I approached the other teacher in the class and asked the child’s name.

              “Ja’Taevious. But all he can write so far is J.” She shrugged her shoulders.

              I spent time daily with Jay. We practiced writing the letters of his name and he could barely hold the pencil. The letters were wobbly and he’d quit halfway.

              “I tan’t. Too hawd.”

              His clothes were always stained, and his nose continuously ran. Caked-on snot was on his face every morning and his left-over breakfast on his shirt. He always held his books upside down or started flipping pages from the back. He talked about falling asleep when he got tired, even if it was in the middle of the living room.

              I looked up his address and drove by Jay’s house. Having grown up in our community, I knew this to be a drug hub. People were constantly in and out of the house at all hours of the night and day. While I slowed to pass by, a dirty baby with a loaded diaper played in the front yard while an old woman sat there holding a switch. This was Jay’s home. And reality broke me into pieces. No one held him at night and read books to him. No one made sure he was clean and bathed. And the food situation was inconsistent at best.

              The next day, my time with Jay changed. He picked out a book and we sat together on the beanbag and read it together, like a parent would do with a child. When we practiced handwriting, I assumed he was brand-new and we learned like a parent teaching a child. The rest of the year, I loved on Jay. Whether he learned any letters or numbers didn’t matter as much as him learning how to be a child in a safe, peaceful, loving environment. By the end of the year, he smiled more. And ran and played like the other kids with joy and excitement.

              Sometimes we will have a Jay in our class. That kid who is behind in every way imaginable. The one who keeps a glazed-over look on their face because they have no idea how to interact with others appropriately. And when it comes to academics, they have no clue; they can barely function in a normal day.

              Jay needed a different type of instruction. He needed to learn common sense things that kids “should” know. But above all he needed genuine attention and love. Often that last part is bigger than anything else.

Do the Heart Work

1.      Who is your Jay?

2.      Do you find yourself getting frustrated at his lack of comprehension? Are you placing unrealistic expectations on him?

3.      Take another look at your Jay. In what ways can you shift instruction to better reach him where he is?

Digging Deeper

              Read 1 Corinthians 13:1-8a.

Often educators wear many hats: counselor, advisor, parent, grandparent, leader, comforter, friend, mentor, safe person, and guide. Take a few minutes and read these verses. What pieces of these verses can you begin adding into your classroom?

1.      Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 (ESV)

2.      Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart. Proverbs 29:17 (ESV)

3.      As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. Psalm 103:13 (ESV)

4.      Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (ESV)

If You Get Spare Time

              What are the basic instructions babies/toddler/young children should learn from their parents? Think about how many children start school without having parents teach them much, if any of the important development pieces. Think about your struggling students. What social and developmental skills are they missing that you might be able to add into your daily activities? How to have conversations? Manners? Appropriate interactions with adults? Peers? What if we could plug a gap in their lives that they didn’t even know about?