Cynthia

Day 3

In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8 (ESV)

              Her grades were perfect. She read two grade levels higher than the rest of her class. Every afternoon she volunteered to stay after school and help her teacher. Cynthia was a star student.

              But there was something about her that nagged at the teacher. Times when she disappeared so deeply into herself that she couldn’t call her back. Hot summer days when she’d wear scarves and turtlenecks. Strange interactions with boys that seemed more adult in nature than she should understand.

After months of these small oddities, the teacher spotted a bruise in a weird place. Secretly, she called the hotline, hoping they could find the “something” she suspected but had no idea how to prove. This was the role of teacher after teacher through the entirety of Cynthia’s schooling. There was always a “reason” for the bruising that seemed well practiced and she had plenty of excuses for every little thing.

I met Cynthia as an adult. She told me the stories of teacher after teacher who showed concern and called the hotline. Cynthia wished she could tell them what her parents were doing to her and her siblings, but she knew if she ever told them, things would become unbearable. Physical, emotional, and sexual abuse were daily parts of her home life. But anytime the state came by for a visit, the kids did their little song and dance to keep the peace. And the abuse continued until she moved out the day after high school graduation.

She shared how much she always loved her teachers and the school. She couldn’t wait to get on the bus each morning and longed to never leave the school building at the end of every day. Her teachers were her saving grace. They showed her how to give and receive hugs appropriately. They taught her how to accept and give positive words. And they built her self-esteem, showing her how valuable she was to this world.

There are Cynthia’s in our classrooms. Maybe they aren’t experiencing abuse at the level she received it, but they are being neglected, mistreated, or abused. Kids shouldn’t be carrying the weight of the world into their elementary classrooms. Children should be alive, excited, and spilling over with joy.

Take a deeper look around your room today. What’s going on behind closed doors? Who is allowed access to the homes of these kids and violate their safety? How can you make sure to provide the safest environment possible for your Cynthias?

Do the Heart Work

1.      Who is the student in your class that reminds you of Cynthia?

2.      Do you know the signs of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse in kids? If you don’t, seek out a counselor and ask them to teach you.

3.      How can you make your classroom the safest place possible? How can it become a peaceful haven of rest and retreat?

Digging Deeper

              Read 1 Corinthians 13:1-8a.

             Read James 1:5-6 (NIV)

               If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 

Ask God to give you his kind of wisdom, especially in situations regarding abuse or neglect.

If You Get Spare Time

              Look back to when you were a kid. Were you in an abusive home? If so, in what ways do you wish a teacher would have interacted with you? If you were not in an abusive home, now that you are looking back through an educational lens, who were your peers who came from abusive homes and what signs were present?