The Quiet Kid

Day 2

Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. Proverbs 17:28 (ESV)

              In the 1980s, children were given a placement test upon entering kindergarten. Back then, our school system ability grouped students. A family friend administered my test and later told my mom that I shrugged my shoulders after every question. This lady knew I could answer the questions, but there was nothing she could do to break my silence.

              Somewhere along the way I showed the teachers what I knew and they placed me with the higher students. I still remember sitting in class, knowing the answer, but not raising my hand. This went on all the way through my junior year. I only spoke when called on and never volunteered an answer.

              Looking back, I was talkative with my peers outside of class or in smaller settings. It’s not that I didn’t talk, I didn’t want the attention drawn to me. After being with the same group of students year after year, a pecking order emerged. We were all intelligent, that was an accepted fact, but the class was split up into different groups. There were the ones who raised their hand every time the teacher asked a question and always had the correct answer. And on the other end of the spectrum were the ones who put forth minimal effort and antagonized the ones who always answered. I was a quiet bystander who watched it all go down, desperate to remain neutral and never a target.

              Now don’t get me wrong, in other settings, I was a leader. When it came to clubs, band, or youth group, I was willing to speak up and step-up when necessary, but even in those safer places, I rarely spoke my opinion. I was a peacekeeper. A go-along-to-get-along kind of person. Everyone else mattered more than me, so I kept my concerns and opinions to myself. Even though I was capable and often knew a solution, I stifled it because of insecurity.

              We may never know why our students are quiet. Some may be brutally shy while others don’t want the spotlight. Others are insecure while some may never be allowed to speak freely. Maybe they are depressed or emotionally wounded and have chosen to remain silent. Or maybe they simply don’t understand the content. Don’t let their quietness count them out. Maybe these children have been placed in your room to help them find their voice. My college speech professor did that for me and now it’s hard to keep me quiet. But if she had not taken the time to push, where would I be?

              The quiet ones are often your watchers, thinkers, and analyzers. What if you are the person they need to build their confidence?

Do the Heart Work

1.      Who are your quiet ones?

2.      How do they respond to others outside the classroom?

3.      What can you do to offer them more opportunities for safe talk time in partners and groups?

Digging Deeper

Read Luke 1:13-21 (NIV)

But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even before he is born. He will bring back many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”

                  Zechariah asked the angel, “How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years.”

The angel said to him, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to tell you this good news. And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their appointed time.”

Meanwhile, the people were waiting for Zechariah and wondering why he stayed so long in the temple. When he came out, he could not speak to them. They realized he had seen a vision in the temple, for he kept making signs to them but remained unable to speak.

              Zechariah was forced to be silent. Eventually God opened his mouth again, but only after he stopped doubting and obeyed God outwardly. While this was a supernatural occurrence, there may be some kids who are simply not allowed to speak, especially about their family. Ask God to give you patience, understanding, and insight with your quiet ones. You may become their much needed lifeline.

If You Get Spare Time

              Examine your own speaking habits. Do you share in a group of peers, why or why not? Do you feel inferior to others? Superior? Equal? Are you quiet or outspoken? Do you cut others off when they are speaking or wait your turn? It never hurts to take a peek inside and see what traits you carry.