Hidden Rules
- Christy Bass Adams
- 1 minute ago
- 3 min read
Day 5, Generational Poverty
Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14 (ESV)
Rita Pierson was a principal who learned how to read between the lines and differentiate between school rules and hidden, family rules. Her videos on YouTube and other video platforms are great resources for teachers.
My favorite video is the one called My Mamma Said (1) which introduces teachers to the Mama Rule. In her story, there are two elementary-aged boys who were fighting at school. She asks them why they were fighting and one of them said his mama told him that if anybody ever messed with him he was allowed to hit them. The other boy said that if anyone hit him he was supposed to hit them back.
Ms. Pierson asked both boys if they knew what the school rule was and they both said that there was no fighting at school. She explained to them that she was in quite a quandary because she was the boss of the school, and had to follow the school rules. Both boys kept saying they needed to fight because their mama told them so.
And this is where it gets humorous. She asked both boys where their moms worked and suggested that since their moms had both told them to fight that they should call the first mom at her job, then show up and fight there for a few minutes. Then they could call the other mom, then load up and go to her job and fight a little more. Since their mama’s are so keen on them fighting, that’s what they should do.
Both of the boys grew pale and slouched in their chairs. The other hidden rule that Ms. Pierson knew all about was that if their mamas got bothered on their job, they’d be in extra big trouble. The boys told her they couldn’t, in any way, bother their mamas on the job.
Ms. Pierson asked the boys what would happen if their mamas got into a fight on their job. They said they’d be suspended or fired. That’s when she explained that the school was like the boys’ job and she was their boss. Just like their mamas had rules at work they had to abide by, so did the boys. The school rules had to be followed to keep everyone safe and when the decision came whether to follow Mamma’s rules or the school’s rules, they had to go by the school’s. Then she discussed the punishment for fighting and both boys understood they would have consequences, but now they weren’t being all blustery and full of themselves. They humbly listened and obeyed Ms. Pierson.
Our kids all have hidden rules that we may not know about. Some of our students are the daddy in their homes and are used to the little ones respecting their authority. Some are encouraged to fight like the boys in Rita’s story. Others have secrets or hidden shame that they are forbidden to expose. It’s important to differentiate between school rules, Mamma’s rules, and rules for other places.
Do the Heart Work
1. What are some ways you could lead a discussion on the school rules versus home rules? (maybe think about sports, church, the bus, etc)
2. What hidden rules did or does your family have that might contradict with school rules?
3. What are some of God’s rules that would automatically override any other rules of this world?
Digging Deeper
Read Matthew 22:34-40 (NIV)
Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Does this commandment match the teachings of this world?
If You Get Spare Time
What were some hidden expectations you had related to teaching? How did those expectations change as you grew into your position as teacher? Are there any hidden rules or expectations you’ve learned since entering the classroom?
Now take a look at your walk with God. What hidden expectations did you or do you still have? What have you learned about God that changes how you follow him?
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