Consequences, Boundaries, Rewards

Safety, Day 4

              Yet he took note of their distress when he heard their cry; for their sake he remembered his covenant and out of his great love he relented. Psalm 106:44-45 (NIV)

She’s in her twenties, engaged to be married. Attended college and earned her degrees. Now, she is employed with the school system as a counselor. The first day we crossed paths as adults, her face lit up as she bear-hugged me. We stood and caught up on life and my heart was so full learning that she went into education. As she shared, I thought back to her fifth-grade year. School was not easy for her, but she made up for her struggles with hard work and a positive attitude.

              While on campus recently, she spotted me on the sidewalk. “Mrs. Adams, you are just who I need to see. My day has been so hard. I just need a hug.”

              Of course, I obliged. Then I gave her a little pep talk, another hug, and off she went ready to conquer the world.

              On the way home that day, I thought about her fifth-grade class. They were a talkative, intelligent group, filled with sarcastic wit, and abounding with ideas. We held class discussions, initiated by the students, and I often offered extra points for students who chose to research topics in more detail. Most days, I felt like the student instead of the teacher with that class. I was daily looking for answers to their hard questions.

              Because we developed a rapport, mutual respect evolved. I treated them like little adults, even when they chose to break the rules. Most times, I called the offender into my office and asked if they understood why they were in trouble. When they told me the rule they broke, I asked what their consequences should be and usually they were much harder on themselves than I would have been.

              Flipping that same token, I let them share suggestions for rewards too. We held great discussions, sometimes in whole group, other times in small groups. They came up with great ideas.

              So, why did that grown adult feel like a hug from her old teacher would give her the encouragement to make it through the rest of the day? Because way back when she was in fifth grade, she felt safe in my classroom. She knew the boundaries, consequences, and rewards and regarded them as fair. And the biggest piece of all, she knew I loved her then and will continue as long as there is breath in my lungs. Once a safe person, always a safe person.

              Communicating clear boundaries in our classroom is crucial. Having rules that are fair and consistently applied is a must. Consequences must be doled out equal to the crime and rewards must be given in the same manner. Kids know when things are not fair and they immediately stop giving respect. If we lose their respect, our classrooms are no longer safe for them.

              In scripture, we see God setting firm boundaries with the Israelites, his chosen children. And time after time they disobey. There are always consequences, but when they cried out in agony from their poor choices, God was always there with mercy and compassion.

              In our classrooms, while consequences matter, so do mercy and compassion. When we read the scripture today, think about how mercy and compassion accompany boundaries and consequences and seek to apply them into your daily interactions with students.

Do the Heart Work

1.      What is the purpose for boundaries and consequences?

2.      When and how do mercy and compassion fit into the classroom?

3.      How does God use boundaries, consequences, and rewards in our relationship with him to keep us safe?

Digging Deeper            

Read Psalm 106:33-47 (NIV).

By the waters of Meribah they angered the Lord, and trouble came to Moses because of them; for they rebelled against the Spirit of God, and rash words came from Moses’ lips. They did not destroy the peoples as the Lord had commanded them, but they mingled with the nations and adopted their customs. They worshiped their idols, which became a snare to them. They sacrificed their sons and their daughters to false gods. They shed innocent blood, the blood of their sons and daughters whom they sacrificed to the idols of Canaan, and the land was desecrated by their blood. They defiled themselves by what they did; by their deeds they prostituted themselves.

Therefore the Lord was angry with his people and abhorred his inheritance. He gave them into the hands of the nations, and their foes ruled over them. Their enemies oppressed them and subjected them to their power. Many times he delivered them, but they were bent on rebellion and they wasted away in their sin. Yet he took note of their distress when he heard their cry; for their sake he remembered his covenant and out of his great love he relented. He caused all who held them captive to show them mercy. Save us, Lord our God, and gather us from the nations that we may give thanks to your holy name and glory in your praise.

If You Get Spare Time 

              Think back on a time when you were unjustly accused of wrong doing. How did that make you feel? Now, recall a time when you did not get caught, but you broke the rules. Compare and contrast these two feelings.

              Now, think about a time when the punishment did fit the crime and you did your time. How did you feel after receiving the consequences?

              Talk to God or journal through these feelings. Consider when you felt safe and what made you feel that way.