Emotionally

Praying for Our Students, Day 4

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)

              She hid the cuts. She kept the targeted words a secret. Her world had to look perfect so no one would ever know it wasn’t. She needed the highest grades. She had to be the best. No. Matter. What.

              I was a teenager. I didn’t know the signs. All I saw was a teenager striving for perfection, hoping to gain a scholarship and be the top of her class. I didn’t know that her anxiety and emotional dysregulation was bigger than normal teenage drama. How could I have known that she was the victim of regular verbal attacks, narcissistic manipulation, and emotional abuse?

              I’ve wrestled with this for years. Could I have intervened and helped her? Why didn’t I see her actions as cries for help? Why didn’t caring adults see the signs and do something?

              Hindsight is 20/20, and sometimes people get so good at playing the part that no one suspects it is an act. If I could go back, I would ask more questions. Dig a little deeper. Talk more about Jesus. Help her find a counselor.

              But that’s the thing. Sometimes, we just don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes. Kids live with something long enough that they don’t realize there’s something wrong. That’s just the way it’s always been. They don’t know that daddy is a narcissist, they just know to lay low, walk on eggshells, and hope to not make waves. Kids don’t know that having people over at all hours of the day and night isn’t okay, they just know their mom said they better not be seen or heard and try to disappear. They don’t know that watching inappropriate television shows everyday with guardians isn’t okay, they just know bad language, sexual relationships, and seductive activities are perfectly normal.

              While we may never know what these kids are actually experiencing behind closed doors, God does. And we can regularly take these children to his throne in prayer. Here are some areas we can intentionally pray for.

1.      Protection from emotional manipulation and coercion.

2.      Guidance in forming self-talk narratives; that they would develop positive, healthy words that are set to repeat in their mind.

3.      Exposure of any emotional and verbal abuse taking place in their familial situations and safe adults who they can talk to and confide in.

4.      Safe, understanding friendships where students can be themselves, truly relax, and share their struggles and emotions.

5.      Balance in the nervous system so students are not always functioning in fight or flight and living off cortisol and adrenaline.

6.      Learn how to emotionally regulate and express what they are feeling instead of hiding, suppressing, or numbing the feelings.

7.      Encouraging teachers who will fuel and ignite the student’s inner creativity in the future.

8.      Self-worth and self-esteem to be in a healthy place and for God to show you ways to build that.

9.      Protection of any self-harm or suicidal ideations as a result of any kind of abuse.

10.  Pray for God to intrinsically motivate students so they can continue to seek better and greater things for themselves.

Do the Heart Work

1.      How often do you think about what your students are facing emotionally?

2.      How can we foster classrooms that grow emotional intelligence in our students?

3.      Are you able to decipher and walk through the abundance of emotions in your own life? Explain.

Digging Deeper

Read Luke 5:17-24 (NIV)

On one of the days while Jesus was teaching, some proud religious law-keepers and teachers of the Law were sitting by Him. They had come from every town in the countries of Galilee and Judea and from Jerusalem. The power of the Lord was there to heal them. Some men took a man who was not able to move his body to Jesus. He was carried on a bed. They looked for a way to take the man into the house where Jesus was. But they could not find a way to take him in because of so many people. They made a hole in the roof over where Jesus stood. Then they let the bed with the sick man on it down before Jesus. When Jesus saw their faith, He said to the man, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

The teachers of the Law and the proud religious law-keepers thought to themselves, “Who is this Man Who speaks as if He is God? Who can forgive sins but God only?” Jesus knew what they were thinking. He said to them, “Why do you think this way in your hearts? Which is easier to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or, ‘Get up and walk’?

“So that you may know the Son of Man has the right and the power on earth to forgive sins,” He said to the man who could not move his body, “I say to you, get up. Take your bed and go to your home.” At once the sick man got up in front of them. He took his bed and went to his home thanking God. 

              I want friends like that. Friends who will do anything they can to help me get healed from both physical and emotional ailments. People who are willing to carry me to the top of a building, cut a hole in the ceiling, and lower me at the feet of Jesus. Our kids need friends like that too, and we have the opportunity to foster these occasions and pray for them to occur naturally. Safe, loving, God-fearing friends are a blessing in any person’s life.

If You Get Spare Time 

              Make time to either write in your journal or sit and talk to God about your emotional state. Are you numb? A stuffer? A sluff-off-the-backer? A drama king or queen? Do your emotions control you or do you control them? Does God have access to your heart? Discuss whether or not you trust God with your emotions and why? Then spend time in detailed prayer for both your emotions and the emotions of your students.