Safety Needs

Day 2, Maslow

In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.  Psalm 4:8 (ESV)

              Frank was a head taller than the rest of his classmates. The shorter desks weren’t made for someone his size. Most days Frank came into class calmly and took his seat. It was obvious he had friends and he often made jokes or gestures across the room during lessons. On occasion, he was easily angered. Other kids looked at him wrong, and he’d want to start a fight. This level of extremes struck me as odd, so I began paying closer attention to events leading up to his outbursts.

              One particular day, Frank had his head down and would not participate. His shoulder was tapped, his back patted, anything to get him to wake up. Another student took it upon himself to bang on Frank’s desk, and he became livid. He threw his desk forward and jumped up toward the instigator. Another adult in the classroom saw what was happening and intervened with the other child, and I took Frank back to my table for small group.

              He immediately laid his head down at the back table and tried to go back to sleep. I got the rest of the group working on the first question, then I shook Frank until he looked at me. His face was red, under his eyes were dark circles, and his eyes looked irritated. Instead of lecturing him about sleeping in class, I started a conversation. “Frank, why are you having such a hard time staying awake today?”

              He responded, “My dad and mom stayed up all night yelling at each other. There was no way I could sleep through that.”

              “All night? What were they fussing about?”

              “Yes. ALL night. I don’t remember what they were fighting about. My dad cussed a lot. Threw stuff. I tried covering my head with my pillow, but I couldn’t stop hearing it.”

              My heart broke for Frank. “Do they argue a lot?”

              He nodded. “But not this bad for that long.”

              I patted his back and made sure I held his gaze. “Frank, I’m so sorry that your parents were fighting. That had to be hard for you. And I do understand how tired you must be. How about we meet in the middle? If you can show me you know how to do this skill, I’ll let you go back to sleep. Deal?”

              “Seriously? Yes. Deal.”

              I gave him the math question and he showed me he knew how to complete the task, so I allowed him to disengage the rest of the period. Many teachers would have demanded he sit up and show up. Others would have called his behavior disrespectful. But I knew this wasn’t normal for him. Something was wrong; and that something was his need for safety had not been met.

              To Frank, his home felt like a ticking timebomb. The yelling, screaming, and throwing made his nerves and fear escalate. Instead of home being a refuge, home became a place of uncertainty. Would his dad turn on him? Would his parents hurt each other? Were they splitting up? When he came home that day, would things be calm, or would there be more fighting?

              When our safe spaces are no longer safe or we never have a place that we consider safe, then our second core need isn’t met. When we don’t have secure routines, protection from danger, financial and health stability, then our sense of safety is shaken. Do we have kids like Frank in our class?

Reference: https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

Do the Heart Work

1.      What are some things that happen in the homes of your students that make them feel unsafe?

2.      Have you ever felt like you had no safe places? How does that impact the rest of your life?

3.      What can you do to make sure your classroom is a safe space for your students?

Digging Deeper

1.      He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:1-2 (ESV)

2.      The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe. Proverbs 18:10 (ESV)

3.      It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8 (ESV)

4.      You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in your word. Psalm 119:114 (ESV)

If You Get Spare Time 

Do you find your refuge in Christ? Even when the rest of the world is falling apart, do you find hope in your Savior and security in his arms? Spend time within his safety this week.