Forgiven

Day 5, Identity

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)

              Jerry was a model student. He participated and worked well in groups. If I needed anything, he was quick to offer. Holding the door, carrying heavy things, and passing out materials were some of his regular ways to assist.

              Raised on a farm, Jerry was used to working hard. His parents had high expectations and did not tolerate anything less than the best. This “best” included behavior, attitude, and grades. They expected him to be the same when everyone was looking and no one was looking. His family was at church every Sunday, were highly respected in the community, and expected the same from Jerry.

              One morning, I had a student stay after class and share that Jerry had done something inappropriate. It happened between him and another student, and this person saw the whole thing. They didn’t want to get him in trouble but knew what happened shouldn’t have occurred.

              The next morning, I motioned for Jerry to come into my office. Before I could even speak, he confessed. “Mrs. Adams, it ate me up last night. I knew it was wrong and I need to go ahead and get it off my chest.”

              Jerry told me the whole story, even things I would not have asked him. He told me he had already come up with an appropriate punishment for himself, and he planned to begin immediately. Honestly, he was much harder on himself than I planned to be, but I didn’t argue. But his next move caught me off guard.

              “Mrs. Adams. My mama and daddy raised me better than how I behaved and I know this would let them down. But more than that, you are a good teacher, and I respect you a whole lot. I’ve let you down, and that ain’t right. I promise to never do anything like that again, but I need to ask you if you’ll forgive me.”

              The maturity falling from this ten-year old’s lips left me speechless for a moment. “Thank you for owning your actions. You’re actually a bit harder on yourself than I planned to be on you. And yes, I will forgive you.”

              This level of maturity and character, at any age, is hard to find, much less in a fifth-grade kid. I can still see his face even after all these years and will never forget his humility. It was easy to forgive him, especially when he approached the issue with such maturity.

              But sometimes it’s not easy to forgive. Sometimes the hurts are repetitive and the wounds are deep. Then other times the person never asks for forgiveness; they might even pretend like it never happened or they did nothing wrong. And forgiveness doesn’t happen.

              I’m so thankful Jesus doesn’t withhold his forgiveness. Part of our identity in Christ is that we are forgiven. This isn’t because of anything we have done, but because of Jesus’ great love for us. Even if we can’t forgive ourselves, Christ still forgives us. Amen and amen!             

Do the Heart Work

1.      What does it feel like to forgive someone? To be forgiven?

2.      Is there anyone in your life that you need to forgive? Ask for forgiveness?

3.      How are you modeling forgiveness for your students?

Digging Deeper            

Read this parable from Jesus about forgiveness.

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.  But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’  So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” Matthew 18:21-35 (ESV)

This story has always caused me pause. Are we like the master, willing to forgive? Or are we like the selfish servant, not offering forgiveness for little though we’ve been forgiven much?

If You Get Spare Time 

              Sometimes one of the hardest things to do is forgive ourselves. Are there things you’ve done that you can’t let go of? Do you make yourself pay penance for offenses Jesus has long forgiven? If you are still in a place where you can’t forgive yourself, take time and write yourself a letter. Read it out loud and ask God to join you in the moment. Just as Jesus forgives, we too must forgive…ourselves.