Frame Your Day As A Family!

by Barbara Ann Rossi, CEC

What does a successful day look like? Is it one where you can cross out all the appointments in your daytimer before you go to bed? Daytimers are interesting commodities--a whole book dedicated to organizing all the things to do each day, week, month, and year. Each day brings another opportunity to get things done. What's on yours today?

Regardless of whether scheduling is important to you, we do live in a society that focuses on outer activities and material success. There's nothing wrong with this idea, as long as it stays balanced with the daily acknowledgement of our magnificent inner self! True success is not measured by what we do. It's measured by who we are. If the primary focus of our lives is on what we have to do each day, than real success will be based on "doing" instead of "being."

For me, success is when I feel connected to the power of the Universe, and then direct that power to accomplish something wonderful. In this sense, I'm being as I'm doing! And I've found no better way for me to accomplish this feeling than when I'm coaching parents to help their children to find their own success.

What does your child's "to do" list look like each day? Perhaps something like this: Get up... Go to school...Get through school...Do homework... Chores... Outside activity...

We all want our children to have high self-esteem. When that self-esteem is linked only to outer goals, it disconnects them from the only place where true success resides--from within. If not, when things don't go their way, children then begin to feel like victims of life's circumstances. They start complaining about everyone and everything in their life because their attention is outwardly directed.

If, on the other hand, children are coached to keep their attention on the power within them each day, they can feel successful in all situations. Whether it's making new friends, joining a team, writing a report, or learning to play a musical instrument, your children should understand that they're the ones who determine how each experience will be. They can choose to be kind when others chose not to. They can choose to be happy when they can't go outside to play. They can choose to be positive when struggling with a new skill. Helping your children realize this power will create a rewarding experience for you as well as them. Instead of beginning the day by focusing on your to-do list, focus on the answer to this question:

"WHO DO I CHOOSE TO BE TODAY?"

We "frame" our day by answering this question. If we choose to be peaceful, than our goal is to keep focused on that peace as we participate in life's activities. This becomes our daily agenda (the picture we paint). This self-mastery can be taught to children as young as three years old!

At the end of the day each family member reports how they expressed their true nature, without any judgements. Coaching your children means listening and guiding them to find the answers within themselves. If they report a challenge in keeping peaceful for the day, you can ask empowering questions to help them find the lesson in the challenge.

• When did you stop feeling peaceful?
• What were you thinking about when this happened?
• Describe how you were feeling.
• How could you have stayed peaceful during that incident?
• What might you do the next time?

This is a life-long process. When you frame your day as a family, not only do you stay connected to your inner power, you stay connected to each other through the sharing of a common goal: to enjoy being the best you can be!

Here's How To Frame Your Day

1. As a family, choose at least 8 different inner qualities you desire to embody, such as: joy, peace, order, gentleness, beauty, kindness, patience, wisdom, etc. Discuss each quality and how it can be expressed. Write them down where all family members can see them.

2. Place a wipe-off board where each family member can write on it in the morning. (ex. refrigerator)

3. Every morning, each family member chooses one quality. The goal is to BE that quality all day long by expressing it no matter what's going on.

4. Put the date in the middle of the wipe off board. Each family member then writes a positive statement for the day around the outside edge of the board(frame). Examples: Mom- I am patient today! Ryan- I am wise today!

5. At the dinner table, everyone shares how they practiced their inner quality. Start the conversation with: "I expressed peace today when..." or "I expressed harmony today as..."

Barbara Ann Rossi, CEC, is a professional empowerment coach who specializes in working with families, children & teens. She also gives presentations at schools and community organizations on these topics.